Have you ever thought about this sentence? I mean: really thought about it…
Since I believe you haven’t been living on Mars your entire life I know you know this saying…
but what does it mean to you?
I have been thinking about time and how we pay with time for everything that we wish for and everything that happens to us. It takes time to build a relationship, it takes time to get over one. The longer a relationship has lasted, the deeper it was… it takes more time, so you’ll pay for quality by giving your heart time to heal.
If you have been unlucky and in some kind of car accident: it will take time to either recover or it will take time to accept things and move on with your life.
If you did something wrong: it will take time for people to forgive you and maybe even more – it will take time to forgive yourself and start living without guilt.
If you want quality in your life and for example you are waiting for that perfect man… you are paying with time, since you could have other men, but you choose to wait a bit longer for quality.
If you want to become the best … (fill out your occupation), you will pay with time… since it will take some time to create the experience and knowledge you need for this job.
If you want to be a better you… you will pay with time and patience to grow and change your ways.
It takes time to learn new skills, to understand something. I never got along with my dad, I often used to say that we had been fighting ever since I turned 6 years old, so I haven’t been visiting him regularly the past couple of years. Last weekend I went to visit him and he told me one simple thing… one simple reason as to why he did something, and I realized that he didn’t mean to torture me like I felt he was. He just wanted the best for me, in his way… so all my anger… all my frustration has been totally useless.
And so I wonder: would it have helped if he tried to explain this when I was in that situation? I’m sure it wouldn’t, I wouldn’t believe him and tell him that this wasn’t best for me, while he probably was convinced it was and nothing would have changed since he was the parent. So it took time to realize this, but I am so happy that I do realize it now, so I can let go of some of that anger that totally held me back in life… and finally try to be that better person that I actually always wanted to be.
Another example: I went to the first part of my restyling yesterday and I couldn’t have predicted the outcome. I seem to be a spring type, with spring features in my appearance (light hair, gray-green eyes, summer freckles and an apricot undertone in my skin) and in my personality (bubbly, active, impulsive and social). Only 10% of people in my country are spring types, so I am very rare here… most spring-types are from Ireland, Scotland or Scandinavia.
So I shouldn’t compare myself too much with the people I know, since odds are: they probably are “summer” types (40% in my country).
Some famous spring types: Gwyneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz, Nicole Kidman, Marilyn Monroe, Jennifer Aniston, Michelle Pfeifer
I remember being an adolescent looking at my friends, magazines, etc… thinking: that looks nice. I would buy that item because I liked it and it looked great on them so it should look good on me too. I often thought I looked terrible, but never realized it was the package I was in that influenced all of this. I never realized black or white (my favorite outfit-colors when I was young) made me look ill, due to my complexion. They emphasize on getting blemishes and imperfections more visible instead of making me shine. So I thought: I just looked sick… not attractive at all. Sometimes, when I accidentally bought the right color for me, I thought: wow this outfit suits me, not realizing that it was the color. So I didn’t learn from it.
By the way: I wanted to grow up quickly, not giving it time, so I loved classic styles that should make me look sophisticated (black, navy blue, white), so I could look how I felt and thought that I would look childish if I used more color (which spring types should do). So I looked awkward for at least ten years. After my trip to London I was confident to wear whatever I would like, people tend to wear whatever they want there and that rubbed on to me, so I started to look a little bit better. But I still thought black was a color that suited me so well since I was blonde.
Now I am in a place where I can afford to do a restyling. As a 26-year-old I have just enough money to live on my own and do a few extra’s in the month. Those few extra’s include this amongst snowboarding, wall climbing and some shopping.
Not too bad I think :)
But what I wanted to say here is: it took me time to be open to restyling, it took time to be able to afford these things, it takes time to grow, but eventually everything goes how it should go. Things turn out to be better, life goes on, time goes by and we will improve… most things in our lives just become better and better.
So the nicest thing you could ever do for yourself in most situations: be patient, give things some time, most things will come around. Don’t focus on just one specific thing/person/event, since there might be something better on your way. Nothing changes overnight, don’t worry: be happy…
Don’t forget to enjoy your present, knowing that in the end nothing will last.
- My Friend, the Creep? (thewritethingstosay.wordpress.com)