Tell me, what’s the use
Of a twenty-four inch waist
If you don’t touch me?
Tell me, what’s the use again
Of being on TV every day
If you don’t watch me?
To give me all your love is all I ever asked
‘Cause what you don’t understand
Is I’d catch a grenade for ya
Throw my hand on the blade for ya
I’d jump in front of a train for ya
You know I’d do anything for ya
– Bruno Mars
Amongst many more…
belong to my lists of great songs. But there is also something very wrong with these lyrics… because why would you change yourself, or do something in your life or even worse: give your life, for someone who doesn’t seem to be willing to do the same. For someone who simply doesn’t care.
The message that a lot of these lyrics present is one of desperation. They make it seem “normal” for a person to want to give their very best, their everything to someone who is unworthy… making that person who gave his/her heart feel unworthy instead. To me that isn’t normal, that isn’t how things are supposed to be. You should feel great that you were able to give these things, not expecting anything in return.
When I read Paulo Coelho’s words concerning the Alchemist who is able to turn lead into gold… I felt it was never really about the gold. The story is about the ability of someone to turn something rather regular into something worthy. And that is real love to me… the ability of changing a regular “relationship” and feelings into something more. Our ability to give something to someone without needing anything back from the other person. And that itself is absolutely amazing. We don’t need anything back for it, because the act itself is unconditionally magnificent and satisfying.
Love is fragile, unconditional and cannot be forced.
This blog post is called selfish love, because I believe love should be unconditionally… meaning: if you do something for anyone because you want something back (f.e. in the lyrics they are looking for some kind of attention)… then that isn’t real love, but a selfish component of it. On the other hand… you should be more selfish and do all of these things just for yourself.
My message today is: you should want the 24 inch waist for yourself, you should want to be on tv (or not) for yourself… and unless you are a bodyguard or part of some secret investigation team you should never ever catch a grenade for anyone. If you are in love you may give, but don’t expect anything back for it: you turned lead into gold and that is magnificent on it’s own. Maybe something will come out of it, maybe not… but that is not the point.
What do you think?
- Non-Judgment and Self Love (edenwithin.wordpress.com)
- And it’s because I love you that I can’t be selfish with you. (gypsyraja.wordpress.com)
- Trains, Blades, and Automobiles, How Romantic? (living360health.wordpress.com)
- Being selfish isn’t about being wrong, but happy. (thedailyquirk.com)
- “Love is selfish” (wenyanmanyin.wordpress.com)