I’ve just returned from my first date after the breakup. This date was with someone I had a high score with at some dating site and I was very interested in meeting him.
This date makes me wonder if first encounters, like the one with my ex, are rare. I don’t know. I do know I have never been so nervous and I never expected as much as I did today, so that might have determined the outcome.
I cannot remember one second on the day that I met my ex feeling awkward or nervous. I was immediately at ease with him and so was he. We both didn’t need anything to happen between us, but we liked each other instantly. In less than thirty minutes we were drinking out of the same cup. Maybe he opened up to me very easily, because somehow without realizing it he was on the rebound. I’m not sure, but that was still the ideal way of meeting a potential significant other: almost with your eyes closed and your hearts open.
I should have known that starting to date again will make me think about my ex. Even though I didn’t really want that. It was great at the beginning… and I have to keep reminding myself that that situation isn’t there anymore. It was not great anymore.
The persons we were at the beginning were just not there anymore.
So on to this date. The guy I met today was very nice, he told me a lot about the hobby’s that got me interested in him and I had the chance to tell him about my dog. First thing that bugged me: he wasn’t open to me; meaning: his body language was shutting me out and he didn’t seem very interested in the beginning. Maybe that was because of some nerves. Another thing that I wanted to mention is (after some drinks) I told him that I was meeting more than one guy from the dating site…
(something I might have not told him if I wouldn’t have had a drink) and I think that instantly turned him off.
Which is acceptable.
But now I am wondering: if you are on a dating site and you haven’t been mailing that often with one person… should you just focus on that one person, or are you allowed to write with more than just that one person (he only mailed with me)? Or even more: are you allowed to meet more than one person, or should you just mail with one, meet that person and then if you don’t get along with that one and only then mail another one, meet that one, etc.?
I always thought it was okay to meet with more than one person if you weren’t in a relationship. I thought that was: putting your eggs in more than one basket.
In the end it seemed we didn’t have “a spark”. Don’t get me wrong: I like him. I am still very interested in him, but I didn’t feel like he was very interested in me and that doesn’t motivate me to contact him immediately. He is a very fun, adventurous, gorgeous man but probably meant for someone else.
What do you think I should do? Should I give him another chance (this means don’t date anyone else except him)?
ps: note to self –> please don’t drink on a first date :) I can live with the things I’ve said today, but I realize that it doesn’t portray me as ME… and that’s not what I want on a first date
- New Age Dating (zackpagehwoodsunset.wordpress.com)
- How to politely decline people on internet dating sites? (ask.metafilter.com)