Just a short one to get myself going again.
I have been thinking so much this week about my relationship, my ex, everything around it. One of the things that I noticed is how some things now automatically make me think of him.
f.e. Audi cars, because he drove one and he loves the brand. Some forms of sports because he either wanted to do them or did them. Roasted ribs since we both ate ribs on our first date. The outfit I wore on our first date. His style and the contrast he had with me. But most the most shocking thing happened just now…
I heard a song on the radio that reminded me of another song that he likes a lot, so I thought… maybe it’s the same artist and was happy to find out that it was not. I didn’t think about it anymore, went to play with the dogs for a few minutes, returned to my computer (radio) and I suddenly hear a certain intro to a song.. Yes you are guessing it: exactly the same song the other song made me think about. My mouth dropped to the floor… literally. I had to change radio stations. Since I won’t tell you what the song was I will reassure you: it isn’t one that’s on the radio every day. I think I only heard it three times, besides the times he put it on when I was with him.
This stuff creeps me out.
Will this ever stop, will I ever stop noticing his name suddenly popping up everywhere… (like who founded this or that … X did, who wrote this book X did…) it’s annoying me and I don’t know what to do about it. I am already still thinking about him way too much to my liking. So it’s not helping me at all. I feel slightly paranoid and hope it will be over soon, without me needing to replace him with someone else. Because that is just not how it works (I think).
On the other hand: I think I’m over him for 75%, sad thing… the other 25% can make me totally emotional sometimes and make me burst out to tears. Not asking why. Not wanting to go back. No regrets. But just missing the good times we had. Just that, simply missing someone who you no longer have or need in your life.