Two for one

I guess I owe it to write two posts since it has been such a long time since I came here.

girl-home-love-photo-photography-Favim.com-361358

A lot of things happened (obviously) preventing me from blogging on a daily or even weekly basis. I’ll try to improve from now on.

The number one thing that has been on my mind has been… the house (studio apartment) I bought :) I finally found one after looking for one for two and a half years (on and off). If I’m 100% honest I’ll find that part of me taking so long to buy was

1. the fact that I’d rather be in a committed relationship where I can do these things as a couple… wich has been a childhood dream of mine (as a kid I wanted to get married at 20, have children at 22… I’m 26 now, I’m not married and I’m not convinced that I want children so that means: I’m not ready for them anyway).

2. the fact that I would have loved to move in with my ex-boyfriend, while he actually thought our relationship was some kind of game (so it seems).

But anyhow; I signed the papers today and I have to wait 5 months before I can move (the seller can only sell then due to some regulations in my country).

In one week and a half I’ll finally do my sky diving experiment (22nd of June). At first I was afraid, I was petrified… (lol) but now I am looking forward to it. The thought alone makes me smile. Let me see what the weather report will be

cloud.rain

Hmm I hope that’ll change.What kind of year is this anyhow: in terms of weather I mean… snow for four months or more and then rain rain and oh rain… even when you go on a holiday to a place where you never saw rain before… anyhow;

I actually booked the sky diving thing in June because I thought by then the weather will be normal.

Due to the lack of time I failed to practice a lot of my hobby’s: I have to start running again from scratch, I started and stopped doing squads and crunches because I wanted to go surfing in September (with the studio I bought I’m not sure if I still will though) and my dog is feeling pretty neglected aswell.

I did manage to date a few people and up to this point I guess 50% was nice, the other 50% went from being terrible to being nice but not for me. I’ve made a top 3 in my head and it actually seems to be some kind of race between them… number 1 has actually become number 2 or even 3 due to a lack of communication (I know he’s busy with work, but the score board in my head doesn’t take that into account as it could be an excuse, a cliché excuse actually).

If you ask me on how many dates I went I’ll have to think… ehm I think there were six guys up to this day (one of them had a second date, some have asked for a second but I have been too busy to actually make that happen). So this weekend will be lucky number 7? I say it that way because I think he’s very attractive and it would be nice if things could happen. My fear of rejection has been keeping him on an arm’s length though (replying so slowly to his messages, on purpose of not sounding too eager, what I would do if I didn’t control myself –> I can be so shallow).

I also have been trying to go snowboarding (I know it’s almost summer, still), but the indoor ski path has been closed this month.

And I feel so ridiculous for saying this but: I have also been trying to fix a date to go canyoning as I said in my Moving on Post. But to do that I have to go on Facebook… and I try to avoid that because for some reason every time I log onto Facebook there is some kind of picture or Facebook status by my ex. I don’t understand how this can happen: while we were together he was hardly ever on Facebook. And now he seems to post on there exactly when I want to check my messages. Or could my phone be doing this? Because this morning it was a status of yesterday morning by him that was on top. I have been ignoring my Facebook for two months now and have replaced it by the dating site :) a lot more interesting anyway, if you ask me.

But this way I cannot plan the canyoning experience properly. And it is quite silly too (especially me being surprised that he didn’t remove me from his Facebook).

So let’s give myself a score from 1-10 to see how I’m doing with my goals.

  1. New (extreme) activities:
  • Wall climbing 6/10 (I’ve managed to go wall climbing a few times last month)
  • Snowboarding 2/10 (for effort driving to the ski path)
  • Surfing 2/10 (for starting to do crunches, very low score because I stopped already)
  • Probably canyoning 0/10 (ridiculous fear of Facebook updates)
  • Sky diving 10/10 (I have mentally prepared myself)
  1. Old sports 7,5/10 (apart from last week I have been doing what I can)
  2. A lot of soul-searching 10/10 (perfect :))
  3. Picking up old hobbies 1/10 (I haven’t got time to do this)
  4. Dating other men 8/10 (I have dated other men and am starting to open up to them)
  5. Taking care of myself in any way possible 10/10 (my skin has never been this soft or beautiful, maybe I can even say I haven’t looked this good in a long time)

This gives me a total % of 56,5 % but I think we can raise that with at least 10% because I managed to buy a house, on my own. So I score myself 66,5% of effort in improving.

So what have you been doing this month? Do you have any tips, thoughts or suggestions?

What would you do if you had to wait for 5 months?

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3 responses to “Two for one

  1. Sometimes our dreams don’t come true, and sometimes our hopes get dashed but we still live on. I’m not on facebook but is it possible to block the notifications you get from him? You have made huge strides since this breakup and will continue to. Buying a house is no walk in the park. You have more balls than me because I can’t see myself jumping out of a plane! You’re dating, you’re doing many things that you’ve always wanted to do, you’re looking more beautiful than ever, your confidence is increasing. You are healing.

    • I cannot believe I didn’t think of blocking him myself :) thanks (probably didn’t think about it since I thought he removed me anyhow). I’ll ask my brother to do that ASAP.
      I should save this entire message: you are one of my saviours for reminding me ^^ thank you so much!

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