We’ll get there… slowly, don’t rush it… almost there… I can see the light at the end of the tunnel…
No I’m not dying :) it’s a lot – A LOT – better. I’ve made such progress the last couple of days and it all started off with the smiley picture that is now my gravatar. When I saw it, it reminded me how we all look so much prettier when we have a smile on our face. And I realised even more how important it is to just accept your situation, embrace it even, use it for the best and move forward.
I’ve been trying to work on my fitness the last couple of weeks (a month) and I have lost 3,5 kgs (I know some of it will fluctuate due to water, but I’m really changing my diet and activity pattern and feeling very confident about it right now).
Besides that I am trying to save money and I feel proud in how I manage my expenses now. I am more reluctant to spend money and keep on asking myself: do I need this, do I need this now or can it wait.
These great changes I made the last couple of months (amongst others) make me smile. They make me proud. They give me confidence in myself and my future. And that’s how I know: I’ll get there, I’m almost where I needed to be a year ago. I used to take small steps, but they are changing into leaps and the improvements grow. It’s almost like one change attracts another. I change something and then try to keep it up for a while before I change something else. I don’t want to bite more off then I can chew and I want these changes to define me in the future.
Another form of progress happened during snowboarding :) I took a friend who is an instructor last friday and she taught me to take bends backwards and forwards. So… doing that I learned a lot about the balance on the board. After falling a lot, two weeks ago, I was quite reluctant to go snowboarding again… but now I want to go back asap :) progress… once more :)
But the cherry on top of all this progress (yes I know: this is a story without an ending or a point :)) is: I was able (for the first time) to tell about my break up, all into details… without it bothering me too much. My eyes got a bit watery, but I didn’t cry. I didn’t backstab him, I didn’t judge the situation, I just said: we weren’t meant for each other. And I am very proud of that. Just the fact that I could tell someone.
I am healing.